Please...

 Assalamualaikum!!!

The day I stopped pleasing others,

was the day I knew I was free of people's expectations...

The day I started pleasing myself,

was the day I knew that I am worthy of everything good...

The day I started trying please God,

was the day I knew that I was repairing my link with Allah...

Ramadhan

Bahagianya langit dan bumi

Saat tiba bulan yang suci

Berkah berlimpah rahmat rezeki

Ampunan pun diberi

Beruntung bagi yang berjumpa

Dan selalu sujud pada-Nya

Tadarus tarawih berpuasa

Mengharapkan redha-Nya

Saat malam yang penuh janji

Malam seribu bulan

Kau turunkan malaikat ke bumi

Berkah Ramadhan yang suci

RAMADHAN

Resepi Ikan Stim Nyonya

Bahan-bahan :-

1 ekor ikan merah sederhana

2 cm halia *
3 ulas bawang putih *
* tumbuk dan lumur pada ikan

5-6 biji cili merah **
3-4 biji cili padi **
1 cm kunyit hidup **
2 batang serai **
3 ulas bawang merah **
2 biji bawang putih **
Secubit belacan **
** kisar

Air asam jawa
1 sb sos tiram
5 biji bendi
1 batang bunga kantan
1 biji tomato
Garam
Gula
Minyak masak


Cara memasak :-

1. Panaskan minyak dan tumis bahan kisar hingga naik bau
2. Tambah air asam jawa dan sos tiram
3. Masukkan bendi, bunga kantan dan tomato
4. Perasakan dengan garam dan gula
5. Tutup api
6. Tuangkan bahan yang ditumis keatas ikan
7. Kukus ikan sehingga masak (lebih kurang 15minit - bergantung pada size ikan)
8. Sedia dihidang

13 Reason Why ??? maybe less, maybe more (Part 3)

Assalamualaikum...


hurrmmm...

Get a snack, settle in... because i'm about to tell you the story of my life... yup! more specifically, why my life......... (fill in the blank) - maybe you're one of the reason why!

You told that it was just a small matter... other people have bigger problems but still can cope it... you said all people have their issues in life - it's difficult to cope with our own issues!

Have you imagine that you were the only hope for a particular damaged person that me want to find... I always think your advice can motivate and change my harmful thoughts... but, instead of getting advises, you blame me...

Everyone made me feel worse... words can crush souls real hard... without people noticing because they don't feel it...

There must be a reason that happened and pushed to the edge... Why it so hard for you to sit down and understand the pain without comparing and judging...


"the important thing - be there (with) to understand, because you are trusted!"


Some people blessed to have a strong support system (family, friends, etc)... but some not so lucky... we all have our own paths... it's not wrong to feel biases because it will always be there, but we can try to understand it first...

You can give your opinion or an advice, but always remember... REMEMBER... be careful with what you say... you can say something hurtful in just few seconds and feel like nothing and you a great, but the wounds can still be there years later to me - don't be so proud!

You said it's okay to be our self and tell the truth, but then you judge me... 

You said avoid or get rid of toxic people in my life... but for me, why do I need to avoid or get rid of toxic people, because me myself may be a toxic people to others... to me, just treat people nicely... who knows one day, someone ask for apologize and the forgiveness that give may cost my life in heaven...

to be continue...

13 Reason Why ??? maybe less, maybe more (Part 2)

Assalamualaikum...


... hurrmmm

Get a snack, settle in... because i'm about to tell you the story of my life... yup! more specifically, why my life......... (fill in the blank) - maybe you're one of the reason why!

I made the biggest mistake of my life... and i'm trying to keep it from ruining my life...

It seemed like no matter what I did, I kept letting people down...

I started thinking how everyone's lives would be better without me - stuck in mind!

... ... ...

I have things I keep hidden... sometimes, keeping secrets is only way how I can survive... but you keep push to know... you want to know what you want to know then you go... without you know i'm struggle with it...


"We don't always get second chances to help people... 'to be there'... in the right way... to love them"- but we choose to silent!


Maybe it was too painful for me to talk about it... - yes, i'm a sensitive person and not strong enough!

Maybe I kept it all in to protect others... even it hurt me a lot... it really hurts, but it's ok... i'm used to it as always...

Nobody knows the pain that I going through... how I struggling to hide it... so that I can look strong... just to make sure you don't think i'm weak...

... ... ...

Not everyone who comes to you in pain can tell you where it hurts at that time... maybe it take times to start talk about it but please "be there", act like always till the time come - coz, i also don't know which part of it!

I know I have friends, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the sh** that goes in my head... because sometimes a friendship can't take the truth... - you start judging and avoiding!

You just want to know the story that make me like this, then you start to make a conclusion and blame me without knowing the whole story...

to be continue...

Bila Mula Mencari - Akan Ku Jumpa

Assalamualaikum...

Ku mengatur langkahku

Berjalan tanpa bayang-bayangmu

Langit dan bumi setia menemaniku

Matahari menyinar tak pernah berpihak padaku

Ku kepanasaan tanpa perlindunganmu...

Hari berganti hari aku masih teguh menanti

Hadir diri Mu dalam hidupku ini

Rasa kecewa ada bila kaki penat berlari

Namun yakinku Kau kan ku temui...

Ku takkan pernah cuba berhenti

Langkahku mencari Cinta

Yang ku tahu hanya tuk diriku

Kan ku terus cari sampai hujung dunia...

Kerna ku tahu akan ku jumpa diriMu

Dan ku kan terus menempuh mimpi-mimpiku selalu...

Ku lihat semua gembira

Bila mengenali erti Cinta

Senyuman ku beri hanya duka

Bila ingin Teman tuk berbicara

Cinta jangan sembunyi

Mataku kabur mencari

Hadirlah dalam hidupku ini

Cinta jangan engkau pergi

Bila langkah ku cuba

Untuk mengejar diriMu...

13 Reason Why ??? maybe less, maybe more (Part 1)

Assalamualaikum...


Hurrmmm...

Get a snack, settle in... because i'm about to tell you the story of my life... yup! more specifically, why my life......... (fill in the blank) - maybe you're one of the reason why!

I'm not angry you betrayed me... i'm angry that i trusted you in the first place... angry with myself... - pardon me, but you really hurt my feeling!

"what if the only way not to feel bad is to stop feeling anything at all, forever?"

It all started because I was feeling lost, i needed direction... any direction... and I couldn't escape my past... 

I needed a change... I needed to be someone new... I wasn't going to be invisible anymore... I was going to start brand new...

I was going to cut away the past and leave it all behind... I was going to work harder, be smarter and be stronger... because I can't change other people around me, but I can change myself... - yes, I can!

You think I'm the type that would rat anyone out about anything? - hurrmmm

I don't know what kind of person anyone is anymore...

I didn't know how empty it would feel.. there's is big part of the world that's just... just gone... and everyone else just keeps moving forward...

The worst part is, there's nothing I can do... - I'm useless!

to be continue...

I'm Back!

I'M BACK

...

Senaskah Al-Quran

Assalamualaikum...


Pengalaman sebulan yang lalu...

Ketika sedang berzikir sementara menanti azan Isya' di dalam Masjidilharam, datang seorang wanita berjubah dan berniqab hitam menghampiri ku... soalan pertama yang diajukan kepada ku "can you speak English?", and i replied "Yes".

She seat in front of me and start to ask me some questions...
1. where you come from?
2. did you perform prayer of the dead?
3. can u explain to me how and what to read?
4. ... etc

Seusai semua pertanyaan dan perbualan, wanita tersebut meminta diri namun sebelum itu, sempat dia memesan kepadaku untuk datang berjumpanya semula di Pintu 84 jika aku mempunyai masa... aku cuma menyatakan "insyaAllah" tanpa bertanya lebih lanjut mengapa perlu ke sana...

Selesai solat Isya' aku terus pulang ke hotel tanpa pergi ke Pintu 84 seperti yang di beritahu wanita tadi... dalam fikiran ku ketika itu, hanya mahu pulang ke hotel kerana keadaan diri ku sudah mula tidak keruan... aku tidak mampu menahan diri dari kesesakkan dan suasana bising ketika tu...

Esoknya selesai sarapan di hotel, aku kembali semula ke masjid untuk beriktikaf dan menunaikan solat2 sunat... Selesai solat, aku mengambil keputusan untuk pulang semula ke hotel dan aku saat ini aku berjalan ke arah Pintu 84... sesampainya di situ, berdiri 3 orang wanita berpakaian seperti wanita semalam yang datang bertemu ku... salah seorang daripada 3 wanita tersebut terus menghulurkan senaskah Al-Quran kepada ku lalu berkata "take it home"... dalam terpinga-pinga aku hanya mampu mengucapkan "syukran" dan tiba2, dia berkata "don't be sad, Allah always with you"... aku tersenyum... terlihat sinar di matanya... dia memelukku... aku meminta izin aku meninggalkan kawasan tersebut lalu keluar bersama linangan airmata... terima kasih Ya Allah untuk setiap pengalaman...

Hanya Rindu

Assalamualaikum...

Saat ku sendiri

Ku lihat foto dan video

Bersamamu yang telah lama ku simpan

Hancur hati ini melihat semua gambar diri

Yang tak bisa ku ulang kembali

Ku ingin saat ini

Engkau ada di sisi

Tertawa bersamaku

Seperti dulu lagi

Walau hanya sebentar

Tuhan tolong kabulkanlah

Bukannya diri ini tak terima kenyataan

Hati ini hanya rindu

Hanya rindu...

Beautiful Souls

Assalamualaikum...

Dear beautiful souls,

I know it's not easy!

But trust me, it's one of those things

that you have to take slowly...

One day at a time,

Overcoming the pain may seem

so hard...

It seems so far away, unreachable!

Sometimes it feels like you'll never reach that happiness...

But...

but no, that's not true!

Trust Allah when He says,

"Verify, after every hardship is ease"

Benteng Syurga & Pagar Neraka

Assalamualaikum...

Syurga - sukar ditembusi; nikmatnya ada

Neraka - senang dimasuki; nikmatnya dunia

Indahnya syurga hingga mampu menarik hati untuk memasukinya... 

Tapi,

Allah 'bentengkan' syurga dengan ketidaksenangan; ujian & dugaan!

Takutnya neraka hingga boleh menggelisahkan hati risau tergelincir...

Tapi,

Allah 'pagarkan' neraka dengan kesenangan; keseronokan dunia!

Aku...

Aku...

Harus tak mahu terjerumus ke dalam neraka hanya dengan 'pagar' kesenangan...

Namun, aku...

Tak mahu kehilangan syurga hanya dengan 'benteng' ketidaksenangan...

Kunci untuk kehidupan ini adalah; 

SABAR!

p/s : terlahirnya bait-bait ini lepas menerima nasihat dan pandangan daripada seseorang yang aku hormat... kata-kata yang diberikan membuatkan aku tersentak dari lamunan yang kadangkala aku risaukan dengan dugaan dan ujian yang diberikan... seorang guru yang baik walaupun telah bersara akan tetap terus mendidik dan mengajar anak muridnya dengan subjek "KEHIDUPAN"... terima kasih CIKGU NOORIAH atas setiap kata-kata yang diberikan tanpa henti atau bosan... 

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

Assalamualaikum...

Hi there,

This question always my mind but I can't get the answer till one day, I realized the answer will appear depend on the situation or time... meaning that, it can change (on me)...

My answer...

" usually, they go ti a source of healing but sometimes, broken hearts get confused & lost so they travel towards temporary comfort... temporary comfort can sometimes disguise itself as dishonest people and material things... it's not a broken heart's fault for not knowing any better...

broken things don't work so well... i hate it! "

😢😢😢😢😢😢

How To Save My Heart!

Assalamualaikum...

Hi there,

2018 was not my year... my world turned up and down... so many drama...
but in 2019 I wanna do my best to save my heart from people that hurt me...
this will takes time to do it, but I will make sure I can do because nobody can stop Me!

My step : I need to save my heart.

I should
- never expect
- never assume
- never demand

I know
- my limit
- my potential
- my stand

I don't
- get sad
- get affected
- care what people doing

I always
- be positive
- be happy
- love myself

I CAN DO IT!!!

NEW YEAR !!! Believe in Yourself...

Assalamualaikum...

Hi there,

2019

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Thank you...  

Dubai - Day 3

Assalamualaikum !!!

Hi, there! I continue my journey in Dubai for third day. A usual, we decide to breakfast at hotel.

Makanan wajib time breakfast...

Some fruits and dates...

The cheese make me dizzy...

Cereal...

After breakfast with the beautiful scenery, coz from the cafe we can see Sharjah city. Now start the Dubai shopping tour. I love it. My parent spend about 5 hours to visit mall and local soul in Dubai. From expensive things until the cheaper. 

Berpuluh jenis coklat yang dijual...

Segala jenis rempah ratus...

Macam-macam jenis abaya...

Memang sesak nak ke souq ni...

Relax je emas jual guna 

messen kat celah-celah lorong...

After finished shopping and took picture at that souq, I will experience a new thing in my life. Experience the real desert with the professional safari drivers name Ali. Actually he ex-policeman in Dubai. He quit and open a new business regarding this attraction in Dubai. The safari desert is a thrilling roller-coaster rides across the golden dunes. This activity will make you dizzy, so for prevention, better take a panadol before you headache or vomiting. But i really enjoyed the desert safari activity...

The jeep that we used for desert safari activity...

Chewing gum - Batook

Pertengahan perjalanan...

The desert safari  took around 2 hours. Before we heading back to hotel, we have our dinner at Bedouin campsite that located in the heart of desert. A warm Arabian welcome awaiting for us accompanied by refreshing Arabic Coffee and dates. Soft drinks, tea and water are also available. Various mild and fruity flavours offer a tingling sensation. They also provide a camel to who want to rides adds fun. During the eating session, an enchanting belly dancer appears with a lot of movement...

to be continue...

Dubai - Day 2

Assalamualaikum !!!

Perjalanan dari Brunei ke Dubai lebih kurang 8 jam. Makanan dalam Royal Brunei not bad (tak menghampakan).

Sampai di Dubai terus ke hotel sebab letih. Di Dubai aku menginap di Sharjah iaitu The Golden Tulip Hotel. Suhu masa di Dubai 45-47C (hangat gila)...

Bangun tidur dan selesai solat subuh, aku hanya sarapan di hotel. Selesai bersarapan perjalanan bermula dengan "City Tour".  Bersiar-siar melihat seni bina moden terbaik di dunia...

The journey begins at Dubai Creek then followed by stops at entrance of Sheikh's palace, Burj Al Arab and The Palm Jumeirah. Then drive to the new marina, a canal city carved along a two miles stretch of Persian Gulf Shoreline. A walk across the Dubai mall to get more pictures of Burj Khalifa and with visit to Dubai Museum. After that, I visit Meena Market for shopping. Every pack schedule to cover Dubai because, Dubai is a beautiful place and have many interesting to see...

Dubai Museum...

Area Jumeirah...

Rumah retis-retis kaya kat belakang tu la...

We decide to lunch at hotel and pray.

After little bit of rest, in the evening, we go for Dhow Dinner Cruise. Diving the charming "City of Lights" into two commercial districts, Dubai Creek epitomizes the city's personality. Here, the magnificent sophistication of the 21st Century walks hand in hand with the simplicity of a bygone era. Hop abroad the traditional dhow which keeps the traditions alive with the glass enclosed interiors to offer stunning views of the old and new Dubai. In the cruise, we can feel the flip-flap of waves and the all-pervading romance as you soak up the cities bustling atmosphere from a distance. The dinner in cruise take two hour and we can enjoy with the soothing of Arabic music.

The Dhow Dinner Cruise...

Salads...

Cheeses... euuuuwwww

Fruits...

to be continue...

Dubai - Day 1

Assalamualaikum !!!

Semenjak seminggu dua ni macam terajin sikit nak share tentang tempat-tempat aku pergi untuk tahun lepas dan tahun ni. Banyak tempat yang tak sempat nak kongsi sebab kekangan masa. Jadi, sementara menanti idea untuk siapkan thesis (sebenarnya stress sangat nak buat thesis) kali ni aku nak share perjalanan aku ke Dubai.

Percutian kali ni aku pergi bersama ibu dan abah. Jadi, kena ikut tour la sebab kalau solo aku boleh main redah je, bila bawa ibu dan abah, aku kena pilih yang sesuai la dengan keadaan dorang. Perjalanan bermula dari Penang ke Kuala Lumpur. Dari Kuala Lumpur ke Brunei menaiki Royal Brunei. Saja pilih Royal Brunei sebab nak menyinggah ke Brunei.

Brunei sebuah negara yang kecil dan penduduknya tidak ramai. Yang aku perasan di Brunei, tiada bangunan yang tinggi-tinggi dan mengikut kata penduduk di sana, Sultan Brunei tidak membenarkan bangunan tinggi melebihi daripada tingginya masjid. Alhamdulillah. Aku sempat menunaikan solat di Masjid Jamek Hassanal Bolkiah. Terpegun seketika dengan seni bina luaran dan dalaman masjid tersebut. Kubah-kubah disaluti dengan emas dan juga pagar-pagarnya guna terdapat emas. Awas! Dalam masjid tidak dibenarkan untuk mengambil gambar. Mungkin untuk menjaga keselamatan barang-barang yang terdapat di dalam tu.

Lepas menunaikan solat, aku pergi ke Pasar Malam Brunei. Teringin nak makan nasi katok sebenarnya. Itu yang sanggup ke pasar malam.

Dah kenyang makan nasi katok, pergi ke Pasar Gadong dan pusing-pusing di Istana Nurul Iman. Saja jalan-jalan sementara nak tunggu ke airport untuk penerbangan seterusnya.

Istana Nurul Iman...

Antara kuih-muih yang dijual...

Nasi katok dan nasi-nasi lain...

bersambung...

Indonesia (Padang) - Day 5

Assalamualaikum !!!

Hari ni merupakan hari terakhir di Padang untuk percutian kali ni. Sebenarnya dah takdak apa yang nak buat melainkan sarapan hanya di hotel (malas nak keluar), masuk bilik sambung kemas barang, lepak-lepak lepas tu teringat nak pergi Tepi Laut.

Gambar jangan tak gambar...

Dataran yang terdapat disitu...

Lepas dah berpeluh-peluh tengah panas, terus gerak nak ke airport. Penang, here i come. Sebelum tu transit di KL dulu...

Indonesia (Padang) - Day 4

Assalamualaikum !!!

Hari ni siap kemas-kemas barang sebab nak gerak ke Padang dari Bukit Tinggi. Sebelum ke Padang, aku sempat masuk ke Lobang Jepang yang terletak di Taman Panorama (betul depan hotel je). Lobang Jepang ni dibina oleh orang Indonesia yang ditawan oleh pihak Jepun. Nak masuk kena bayar, nak ingat berapa bayarannya. Nanti ada guide yang tolong bawa ke terowong tersebut (kena bayar upah lain pula). Guide tu akan ceritakan tentang info berkaitan dalam lubang tersebut. Katanya ada 3 perkara yang tidak terjawab sehingga kini (aku dah lupa cuma ingat 1 je, kemanakah perginya tanah-tanah yang digali tu)...

Pintu masuk untuk membayar tiket...

Itulah Lobang Jepang... ada seratus lebih

anak tangga rasanya...

Pemandangan selepas pintu masuk...

Selepas sejam lebih berada dalam Lobang Jepang, aku mendaki bukit untuk kembali ke hotel (boleh je naik taxi untuk ke hotel). Bersihkan diri sebelum check-out untuk ke Padang. Dalam perjalanan ke Padang sempat singgah di Aur Kuning untuk membeli kain ela (bawa balik untuk dijual). Di Aur Kuning, lebih sesuatu untuk belian secara pukal, kalau beli satu-satu mahal. Sangat tak sesuai untuk yang sakit kaki sebab keadaan jalan dan kedainya...

Selesai membeli, perjalanan di teruskan dan terasa perut mula mengeluarkan bunyi-bunyi jadi berhenti makan tengah hari di Rumah Makan Pak Datuk Cabang Dumai (ramai diplomatik dan vvip makan di sini). Makanan boleh tahan, tempat pun selesa.

Menu makan nasi padang tak jauh beza

yang membezakan rasa...

Perut sudah kenyang, jadi teruskan perjalanan ke Pusat Dokumentari Rumah Gadang. Sampai di sini, akan ada penerangan tentang rumah gadang atau rumah minangkabau. Kalau terasa nak cuba pakaian pengantin cara Minang, boleh cuba dengan bayaran Rp10000-150000. Boleh pilih warna pakaian yang dikehendaki lepas tu boleh bergambar di segenap pelosok rumah tersebut...

Rumah Gadang aka Rumah Minang...

Sempat la merasa... hik3

Perjalanan diteruskan ke hotel di Padang. Di sana aku menginap di Hotel Bunda. Terletak di kawasan jualan malam + tani dan shopping mall. Jalan kaki je nak ke semua tempat tu.

Lepas solat maghrib, terasa nak makan Bakso... Terus mencari Restoran Bakso Lapangan Tembak. Bakso di sini memang terbaik, tapi, tapi, makanan lain tak sedap. Serius cakap. Atau mungkin mulut aku tak boleh telan kot. Citarasa berbeza kan...

Nampak macam biasa2, tapi

rasanya ummmppphhh...

Gandingan hebat

Alpukat...

bersambung...